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Life Updates: Mom died + art stuff
11 years ago
Last week, I lived a nightmare, my mom had a stroke on Tuesday 7am, it was unexpected, something that you think it wont happen to a healthy, stressless and happy person. She was always working on stuff she loved, many projects she started doing in these last years, and other future projects she had in mind, she was an amazing mom, artist and a Plastic art teacher in elementary schools.
I really don't know what else to say, it just doesn't make sense, one day she is here talking with me about some stuff she wanted to do while I was drawing something, and next day I'm in the ambulance with her watching how she was dying.. I just cant believe it, it's so shocking, so fucking unfair.
Doctors said she had brain death that day, problem with her carotid artery, half of her brain got affected.. she got a small chance to survive with a surgery (her brain was swelling, and to avoid her immediate death they did that surgery, which also didn't mean she was going to recover very well at all), surgery went ok, but she didn't have any reaction after the surgery. She was in the hospital all these days until Sunday, because she had a small brain activity, on sunday at 11am that activity stopped. I had her funeral today (monday, though it's tuesday now), and I still cant believe it.
As for art, two weeks ago before my mom had the stroke, I couldn't finish anything, I've tried doing speedpaints, zergs, continuing old art, and new stuff, most of those pics had so many mistakes or things that I couldn't draw correctly, that I had to abandon them.
Obviously this last week couldn't draw, but with my mom's death, I feel like if I've grow up much more, and understand that life is really.. shitty? unfair? short?, whatever it is, we are here and only thing we can do is live, because that's the meaning of life, just live.. otherwise you will kill yourself. This made me to be stronger, to feel more confident with me and with what I do, even if some of it includes dragon dic...tatorship. I'll keep doing what I like, and try to enjoy life with my art and my other projects that I told to my mom, which was happy about them and wanted to see them finished.
I'll miss her so much, I always wanted to be able to finish some of my projects to show them to her, she was a very inspiring person to me, both my mom and dad. Rest in peace.
I really don't know what else to say, it just doesn't make sense, one day she is here talking with me about some stuff she wanted to do while I was drawing something, and next day I'm in the ambulance with her watching how she was dying.. I just cant believe it, it's so shocking, so fucking unfair.
Doctors said she had brain death that day, problem with her carotid artery, half of her brain got affected.. she got a small chance to survive with a surgery (her brain was swelling, and to avoid her immediate death they did that surgery, which also didn't mean she was going to recover very well at all), surgery went ok, but she didn't have any reaction after the surgery. She was in the hospital all these days until Sunday, because she had a small brain activity, on sunday at 11am that activity stopped. I had her funeral today (monday, though it's tuesday now), and I still cant believe it.
As for art, two weeks ago before my mom had the stroke, I couldn't finish anything, I've tried doing speedpaints, zergs, continuing old art, and new stuff, most of those pics had so many mistakes or things that I couldn't draw correctly, that I had to abandon them.
Obviously this last week couldn't draw, but with my mom's death, I feel like if I've grow up much more, and understand that life is really.. shitty? unfair? short?, whatever it is, we are here and only thing we can do is live, because that's the meaning of life, just live.. otherwise you will kill yourself. This made me to be stronger, to feel more confident with me and with what I do, even if some of it includes dragon dic...tatorship. I'll keep doing what I like, and try to enjoy life with my art and my other projects that I told to my mom, which was happy about them and wanted to see them finished.
I'll miss her so much, I always wanted to be able to finish some of my projects to show them to her, she was a very inspiring person to me, both my mom and dad. Rest in peace.
It feels weird, losing one of the most important persons of your life sucks.. I feel empty now, but there isn't anything we can do, we must continue with our lives
I wish you the best, and I hope you can continue to draw from this inspiration.
I never had a death of someone so close to me, a person that I saw almost every day of my life and was always there.. it sucks.
And thank you c:
That whole situation sounds extremely overwhelming. T.=.T